It’s the name that immediately comes to mind when you think of the romantic ending of Eat, Pray, Love. The lush, languid island of Bali lingers, embedded in our imaginations from Elizabeth Gilbert’s best-selling book and the movie starring Julia Roberts.

As much as Bali is known for its romantic resorts, sandy beaches and luscious green landscapes, it is also known for its fascinating women. In Bali it is particularly easy to chat with the local women about their lives, and their joie de vivre and happy attitudes are contagious. Whenever I become disillusioned with the crowded beaches and tourists sights, I take a hike and meander through villages looking for the opportunity to strike up a conversation with another woman.

On a recent trip to Bali I wasn’t looking for love, or a lover, like the woman in Eat, Pray, Love. I was looking for insight into the intricate culture from a female perspective. What would I learn about myself by seeing the world through their eyes?

Women Appease the Spirits

A Balinese mother and I walked together one morning outside her village in the highlands. She was balancing on her head a three-tiered basket filled with flowers, fruit and a roasted chicken. She had perfect balance and I wondered if I could carry such a large load on my head for any amount of time. I don’t think the balance poses I do in yoga class would allow me to be as graceful as she was. She was also perfectly content with the heavy load. We struck up a conversation and I learned why.

I promised myself that I would be more like Wayan. I’d slow down and enjoy the process of offering thanks.

Wayan, a slight but strong and graceful middle-aged mother, told me she had two children, like me, but unlike me, she doesn’t live in a home with her immediate family. She described the large compound where she lived with her husband, children and extended family, including grandparents, aunts and uncles. There is no strife, she explained. Her 18 family members live in harmony, cooking for the clan, watching each other’s children and caring for aging relatives. I was invited into the family compound and met the grandparents, cousins and siblings. It was obvious that everyone got along and helped each other.

I concluded that Wayan would find it lonely to switch lives with me and live in a home with just one other adult and only two children — a home that is empty most of the day — unlike her family compound, which pulsates with the comings and goings of everyone: caring for the chickens, tending to the family altars and preparing meals. And I also wondered what it would be like to live with my extended family. I doubt it would be as harmonious.

As we walked a dirt path together, Wayan explained the significance of the offerings she carried on her head. The women of each family, from grandma down to the teens, are tasked with making regular offerings to shrines within the compound and take offerings to nearby temples. Every day they weave tiny banana leaf containers, no larger than an iPhone, for offerings of rice, coffee, hibiscus or orange flower petals and an incense stick. Before each meal, women take this exquisite array of food and flowers to their shrines. She confided that she was happy to make offerings to show the family’s gratitude and to soothe the household spirits. I thought about the peace and gratitude I feel when I make offerings and prayers to a greater spirit. Travel teaches us to open our eyes, to see other ways of life and to learn more about ourselves. I promised myself that I would be more like Wayan. I’d slow down and enjoy the process of offering thanks.

As we parted, Wayan urged me to attend a cremation. Women, she went on to explain, also take care of the spirits of the dead. The Balinese don’t grieve as we know it. Weeks, sometimes months after a death, relatives throw a big bash culminating in a cremation. In Bali this is a festive and celebratory passage into the afterlife. If you want to see a big, dramatic party, join in the festivities of a cremation.

You have to be in the right place at the right time to see a cremation because the date and time depends upon the phase of the moon, position of the stars and the community priests. Often even the Balinese don’t know when a cremation will be staged until the last minute. I hoped to see a cremation but didn’t know how to go about it. I mean, do you just invite yourself to someone’s funeral?

Later, I was lounging by the pool of the Amanusa Resort in Nusa Dua when the manager casually asked me what I wanted to see in Bali and offered to help. He had no idea what a demanding request I would make. “I’d like to attend a cremation,” I told him. He smiled that knowing smile that told me I had asked for the impossible. However, I was staying at an Aman Resort, world-renowned for luxury and discrete service. The guest list reads like a “Who’s Who” of movie stars, royalty and business tycoons. I’d heard the staff could work miracles to please guests. Turns out, that was right. Two days later a car drove my traveling companions and me to a small village in the countryside near Ubud to join a joyful crowd of well-dressed family members and friends of the royal family. A mirage of ethereal women dressed in golden silk, shaded by pastel tasseled parasols, glided through the crowds with silver bowls and pyramids of fruit and flowers poised on their heads. It was cremation day and a percussion orchestra set the tone with energetic, syncopated music as men carried the body to the cemetery for burning inside an ornate three-story high tower, balanced on a bamboo platform.

Balinese women labored for weeks preparing the food and offerings for this ceremony and it went up in smoke in an instant. Well, I thought, that’s not so different from women preparing for Thanksgiving dinner, which is also an offering to family and friends, and also disappears quickly.

Women and the Dance Tradition

One afternoon, I stumbled upon a dozen young schoolgirls changing from crisp blue uniforms into elaborate silk and ikat costumes in the opulent gardens of the Amandari Resort, in Ubud. What do kids do after school in Bali? These girls walked from the nearby village to take dance lessons. They helped each other apply make-up and style their hair. Like typical pre-teens, they giggled and gossiped as they prepared for the class. Their teacher invited me to take photographs and join them for an evening performance in the lobby. The kids gather for free after-school dance and music lessons, made available to the children of the Amandari employees.

Women and young girls are the predominant dancers in the Legong, perhaps the most beautiful dance in Bali. Dancing begins at a very young age, three to six years old, often passed on by a mother or an aunt. The teacher explained that children are eager to train but many do not have the discipline or dedication to continue for years when they discover the intensity and difficulty of the hand motions. A Legong dancer must master detailed precision in each minutely choreographed movement from her eyeballs to her fingers to her toes. Each tiny movement has meaning in the dance drama of ancient Hindu stories.

A Legong dancer must master detailed precision in each minutely choreographed movement from her eyeballs to her fingers to her toes.

As an orange sun slipped behind the palm trees by the infinity pool, hotel guests and families from the neighboring village turned out to watch the six- to eleven-year-old girls. The Legong dance, and in fact, all performances and festivals in Bali, revolve around the community. Brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents watched with pride. Although the local crowd may have understood the ancient Hindu love story much better than us visitors, we were equally enchanted by the melodic magic of the music and the graceful young dancers.

My Search for a Balinese Healer

Most visitors to Bali spend blissful hours being massaged, scrubbed, perfumed and perhaps even healed by female masseuses in hotel spas, on the beach or in local homes. The quality of the massage depends upon the place, price and training of the masseuse. I discovered you can take it to the next level if you find one of the authentic spiritually charged female healers who have inherited their power from an elderly healer in the family. Traditional healers, I was told, balance the inner and outer worlds — in other words, they create a total fix for the mind, body and spirit. I made it my mission to find a female healer.

One of the benefits of staying at an exclusive, small property is extraordinary service. Again, I asked for help from the Aman Resorts’ managers who have lived for years in the area and have local knowledge that you won’t find in a guidebook. At the Amankila resort in Eastern Bali and several days later at the Amanjiva Resort in Java, the managers painstakingly contacted local healers in nearby villages and transported them to the tranquil haven of my villa’s tropical garden. In Java I asked for yet another favor: a translator to help me speak to the village healer after the session.
Diriyah, a short, wiry 74-year-old widow, entered the garden balancing a heavy massage table and a pot of hot herbal tea. Energy, like static electricity, radiated from her tiny body. Her body language and posture indicated that she was used to being respected and in control.

A Perfect State of Bliss

As I relaxed on the massage table, she blew several soft breaths across the crown of my head and chanted quietly. Slowly her powerful thumbs and the palm of her hands explored the soles of my feet to diagnose my physical and mental health. Then she concentrated her intense touch on the core of my body, opening energy channels, stretching and increasing blood circulation. My body melted, my mind went blank, and I slipped into a hypnotic state of calm.

After the healing session we talked through the interpreter. I learned that Diriyah has been healing people in her village for 42 years, from pregnant women to arthritic elders, as well as those suffering from heartbreak and emotional distress. She hasn’t identified anyone in her family who has inherited her magic touch yet, although she has six children, 19 grandchildren, and an eight-year-old great grandchild. I was once again awed by the strength of the women of Bali.

Whether you eat, pray or love, attend a cremation, join a woman in her daily offerings, meet dancers, or find a healer — sampling the Balinese state of bliss will inspire you to return home looking at your own life with different eyes.

For more than three decades I have explored Bali and sampled all styles of guesthouses and resorts. Accommodations on the island run the gamut from a very economical $20 a night bed in a local home or guesthouse to the very exclusive and memorable private villas at $2,000 a night (including, of course, a plunge pool, garden and valet). Many well-heeled global travelers return to Bali year after year to unplug and be pampered at quiet properties.

I keep clicking my fingers and hoping for magic to transport me back to Bali.

Bali and Java 411

When to Go: The weather is always warm. Located just north of the equator, Bali and Java sit in the exotic reaches of the Indonesian archipelago just eight degrees south of the equator, northwest of Australia.  Indonesia has a tropical climate, meaning warm and humid in the summer months. The cooler dry season is April to October. Average temperatures range from 78 to 82 degrees.

What to Pack: A bathing suit, shorts, sundresses, T-shirts that cover your shoulders and capris for visiting temples, sandals and a wrap for air-conditioned restaurants. Tourists in Bali dress casually.  If you plan to do serious shopping (and it’s hard not to!) bring an extra bag.

Where to Stay: The Aman Resorts offer exquisite service and accommodations in locations across the country. For something truly unique, Andrew Harper’s Hideaway Report Reader Survey ranked the Amankila, a secluded cliff-side property in East Bali, among the top 20 beach resorts in the world. Do they sound out-of-this-world expensive? That is part of their appeal. However, five Aman Resorts, including the Amanwana Nature Reserve on Moyo Island,  can now be combined in a seven-night experience for around $800 a night. www.amanresorts.com

South Africa is seductive; it is wild. It is a photographer’s 
paradise, a gourmet’s Valhalla, an adventurer’s Utopia.

From the dazzling city of Cape Town, curled around the base of 3,500-foot-high Table Mountain, to the mountainous Winelands, to five-star, ‘Big Five’ animal safaris, South Africa should be on every travelgirl’s bucket list.

I’m just back from three weeks at the southern tip of the African continent, and here are standouts that made my trip extraordinary.

“There is something about safari life that makes you forget all your sorrows and feel as if you had drunk half a bottle of champagne — bubbling over with heartfelt gratitude for being alive.” —Karen Blixen, author Out of Africa

A rose-colored morning light washed over the grassy savannah as my husband and I bumped along elephant paths in our open-air jeep. Shortly after leaving the lodge we had close-up sightings of a giraffe, hippo and rhino. “How many ‘wow’ moments can you have before breakfast?” our ranger jokingly asked.

We had more than a lion’s share of great game viewing, including the “Big Five” in the private Sengita and Sabi Sabi game reserves in South Africa. The “Big Five,” a term coined by game hunters and used by safari operators, refers to the most dangerous animals to hunt on foot and often the most difficult animals to see in Africa: leopard, lion, elephant, rhinoceros and buffalo. Along the riverbed we watched elephants flap their ears as their sinuous trunks snaked about, feet shifting as they lazily sucked water into their trunks then noisily sprayed it into their mouths.

Driving off-road, we came upon a languorous leopard lounging in the warm sunshine. In response to the clicks from our cameras, he jumped up on a log, turned his head our way, lifted his tail and peed in our direction, before sauntering into the bush. We watched in wonder as the spirit of the wild asserted 
its dominance.

South Africa is a popular safari destination because the game viewing is superb and the leading camps and lodges are among the most glamorous in the world with renowned brands such as Singita and Sabi Sabi.

Both Singita and Sabi Sabi are located in unspoiled wilderness adjacent to the Kruger National Park. Hunting has not been permitted in the private reserves for decades, so many animals are comfortable with the presence of safari vehicles, which allows us, in open-air jeeps, to get up close and personal with residents of these parks. It is a photographer’s nirvana to shoot such a variety of wildlife.

My Kind of Place

It is a traveler’s dream to stay at a Singita or Sabi Sabi property.The elegant Singita Ebony Lodge showcases the best of sophisticated South Africa. It boasts a wine cellar with over 120 of the best South African wines and offers the expertise of two sommeliers on property. Between morning and sunset game drives, guests partake in guided bush walks, relax in the spa, visit a nearby local village, taste wine in the cellar, compare aged whiskies at the bar, or shop at the boutique stocked with museum-quality African art and hand-crafted jewelry.

One afternoon, during a dip in the private plunge pool outside our two-room suite, I watched a herd of elephants hiding their babies between their legs as they grazed along the river below. As I rinsed off in the outdoor shower, two gazelle stepped out of the bushes nearby. This was my kind of place.

Sabi Sabi Earth Lodge, designated one of National Geographic’s Unique Lodges of the World, also offers an over-the-top safari experience. Guests are pampered with luxurious accommodations, plunge pools, outdoor showers, superb cuisine and wine, as well as walking tours, community visits, morning and afternoon game drives, and a stop for “sundowners” — a round of drinks and snacks in the bush as the sun sets.

No one can return from the Serengeti unchanged. “You know you are truly alive when you’re living among the lions.”      —Karen Blixen, author, Out of Africa

Crazy for Cape Town
Cape Town is renowned for its excellent climate, friendly locals, top-rated hotels, internationally-ranked restaurants, boutique shops, trendy wine bars and a nightlife that never stops. Small bays with white sand beaches stretch into the distance dotted with swooping seagulls and sun-kissed surfers.

Although every tourist should visit Table Mountain and the Victoria and Alfred Waterfront in Cape Town, additional standouts are the Bo-Kaap neighborhood lined with colorfully painted homes and Robben Island, which is South Africa’s Alcatraz, a World Heritage Site where Nelson Mandela was detained for 18 of his 27 years in prison. Robben Island is a “must visit” to learn about apartheid. In addition, don’t miss a day trip south to see the endangered African penguins romp around Boulders Beach in the Cape Peninsula. Take the stairs to the top of Cape Point or ride the Flying Dutchman funicular up to the viewing point, where you can enjoy panoramic views of the South Atlantic Ocean. Below you, huge waves crash where the two oceans seem to meet. Watch for marauding baboons along the road. If you’re lucky, you might even spot whales or a great white shark!

A Legend of Luxury
Although Cape Town has no shortage of fabulous boutique hotels, two stellar properties stand out.  From the moment we pulled into the discreet entrance to the Ellerman House, we felt like we were visiting friends in a private estate on the French Cote d’Azur. Once the home of Sir John and Lady Ellerman, British shipping magnates, the Edwardian mansion has a birds-eye view of the ocean. The mansion, transformed into a five-star hotel, is located on 1.5 acres of sprawling lawns in the “billionaire’s residential neighborhood” of Bantry Bay. Often called Cape Riviera, it is home to some of the country’s most expensive real estate.

You may never want to leave the antique-furnished library, parlor and living rooms, or the gardens, pool or spa. Guests often include those who prefer not to be disturbed, such as celebrities, honeymooners, couples and art collectors. The mansion, garden and art gallery display one of the largest private South African art collections with over 1,000 works. We felt sinfully indulgent basking in the epic views from our spacious oceanfront suite, the dining room and terrace while enjoying the exquisite wine and cuisine.

Another five-star hotel with spectacular ocean and mountain views is the Twelve Apostles Hotel and Spa, a Leading Hotels of the World property. It’s located on Cape Town’s most scenic route and is flanked on one side by Table Mountain and the other by crashing waves. Linger to watch sunset with locals in the Leopard Lounge and dine at the award-winning Azure Restaurant with superb French cuisine and seafood. It serves, undoubtedly, one of the most memorable breakfasts in the world with fresh oysters and bubbly.

Explore the Winelands
Imagine California’s Napa Valley with the Rocky Mountains in Colorado as a backdrop and you’ll be close to the South African Winelands, located an hour east of Cape Town.  The famous wine region is grouped in a triangle around Stellenbosch, Franschhoek and Paal and attracts culinary and wine connoisseurs from around the world.

South Africa’s most famous grape and red wine varietal is pinotage. It is a complex and fruity wine. Chenin Blanc is the most widely grown white varietal, ranging from sweet to dry, and used to make sherry, sparkling wine, brandy and spirits.
A hurried day trip from Cape Town doesn’t give you enough time to explore, sip and savor the region. Plan to stay for a few days. You can easily book tours in your hotel or do wine tours on your own or by bicycle. There are wide shoulders on the roads for cyclists’ safety.

We started our tasting in Stellenbosch at the spectacular Delaire Graff estate. The breathtaking location, between majestic mountains and vine-covered hills, is reason enough to linger over wine, a meal or to stay a few nights. We had to choose between the indoor art-filled Wine Lounge with a stunning copper roof and the outdoor terrace. We tasted a flight of wine paired with local cheeses on the terrace, regaling in the sweeping views. Then we walked through the gardens, dotted with fountains and statues, and settled into our two-room villa with a huge terrace and private plunge pool.

The renowned Delaire Restaurant was fully booked for dinner with a chic crowd reminiscent of those seen in the Hamptons or Malibu. So we dined before the blazing fire at the casual and creative Indochine, where the chefs pick produce, herbs and fruit daily at the estate greenhouse and vegetable gardens. The result is extraordinary.

For full-on South African glam, Delaire Graff delivers. The property creates a secluded feeling by hugging the contour of the hillside and positioning the villas, restaurants and gardens toward the vineyards and craggy mountains.

Nearby, Franschhoek looks and feels like a small town in Provence. Open-air cafes, art galleries, antique shops, small restaurants and tempting boutiques line the main street. Many of the wine farms in the area share a French Huguenot heritage, and you can enjoy the French influence in the fare and the local Champagne-inspired bubbly.

For two days we biked through the vineyards, sipped at charming tasting rooms and dined at our boutique hotel, La Residence’s Vineyard Suites. Located on a 30-acre estate, the luxury property has vineyards, plum orchards, rose gardens, horse pastures and gardens. Strutting peacocks meandered around the infinity pool and grassy lawns.

Our elegantly appointed suite boasted a four poster bed, opulent chandeliers, antique furniture, dressing rooms and a bathroom the size of a generous studio apartment with a deep soaking bathtub. French doors in both the bedroom and bathroom open onto a private terrace with views of flowering orchards, vineyards and mountains. The 11 hotel suites are elaborately decorated with different design influences, from the exotic Tibetan Suite with Oriental antiques and rich orange tones, to the blue and yellow Chambre Blue with its Provencal antiques, velvets and silks. The nightly dinner menus are full of sumptuous surprises and multiple courses paired with superb local wines. Ask to dine at the informal Chef’s Table next to the big French kitchen to chat with the chefs and see the magicians at work.

Layover in Johannesburg  
Rated among the top hotels in the world, the five-star Saxon Hotel is a perfect place to relax and regroup in Johannesburg. 
The hotel is an oasis of calm and security on 10 acres of tranquil gardens in the fashionable Sandhurst neighborhood, north of the bustling downtown area. The attentive staff, lush gardens, swimming pools, elegant piano bar, smoking library, cocktail lounge, dining room and the tasteful decor, which includes contemporary and historic African art, is impressive. It’s no wonder the Saxon Hotel has served as home to many world leaders and dignitaries.

In 2015 the South African rand fell to an all-time low against the US dollar. Its continuing decline makes South Africa an even more attractive destination this year.

South Africa 411

WHEN TO GO
April through September are considered the best months for sighting big game in South Africa because it is the dry season 
when animals congregate around rivers and water holes. We went in October and had stellar viewing at the wildlife preserves and good weather in Cape Town and the Winelands. Avoid school vacations, especially Christmas and spring break. Prices are higher, many accommodations are full, and flights may be difficult to book. Check the South Africa Tourism website for holiday dates.

HOW TO PLAN
South Africa Tourism: www.southafrica.net/za/en

SAFARI OPTIONS
Singita Lodges: www.singita.com
Sabi Sabi Lodges: www.sabisabi.com

WINE COUNTRY
The Delaire Graff Estate, Winery, Dining, Villas:  
www.delaire.co.za
La Residence: www.laresidence.co.za

CAPE TOWN
www.capetowntravel.com offers an indispensable guide with maps, suggested itineraries, day trips, activities and ideas.

Ellerman House: www.ellerman.co.za

The Twelve Apostles Hotel and Spa: www.12apostleshotel.com

JOHANNESBURG
Saxon Hotel, Villas and Spa: www.saxon.co.za